Open Positions
DIRECTOR, PROGRAMS
Program the Instagram via telegram
Diagram the kilogram with a hologram
CHIEF RETRIEVAL OFFICER
We will fail - be our safety net when we do
Safety net must be compostable
APP DEVELOPER
Code that code to code the code
Everyone’s got an app, so we need one too
GREENSHOT EXPERT
Master the artistry of Greenshot
Keep skills close to chest or else risk replacement
INDUSTRIAL DESIGNER
Ability to make bike look cool
Must have excellent wardrobe & refrain from wearing the same outfit twice
RECRUITER
Build the team
Don’t unbuild the team
ELECTRICAL ENGINEER
Understand flow of electrons
Have some idea of circuitry because we sure don’t
DIRECTOR, SEAL STUFFERS
Must have demonstrated ability to put stuffers in seal in less than 7.2 seconds
Fluency is German is required
